How Could I Feel Alone With So Many Imaginary Friends?

I walked through the Eastside Neighborhood park
on my way to grab a free cup of coffee from the grocery store.
I hadn’t been there for a couple years.
The big cottonwood tree still keeps watch
over the ghosts of children past
that are now doctors nurses teachers
garbage men bartenders and bag boys.
The tether ball chain still pings against the pole.
I was thinking about how bad things are right now
and how hungry alone and blind I am.|
If life is what you make it
I’ve created a monster
and I use too many cliches
because they are proven to work.
I sat under the gazebo and remembered
when I had no place to go
I’d shoot cocaine here
under the stars
finding my vein by the light of the moon
my ears ringing
chewing my tongue
talking to people that weren’t actually there
about how I would be somebody
and they agreed with me
but first I needed
one more hit.
Oh how invisible I really was.
I grabbed my coffee and walked away.
I didn’t say a word.
The stars were coming out
it was a good time to go home.

Jason “Juice” Hardung


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